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Bikernet Trike Riders

Honeymoon Period is Over @ Trikes Weekly News

Get Real, Trike Tourism, Ladies with sidecars, MRF fights Trikes legislation, decrepit hippie Raymond Hamilton and more

by Ujjwal Dey



We are back with the News at Trikes.bikernet.com


So far so good, but we were really hoping to get caught up in the world of Trikes. User experiences have been few and far between. The Trike industry has grown fast and we want to promote it here. We can’t do it without the actual Trike riders. So if you know one, send them to us and we will make sure they enjoy the Bikernet Trike experience.


We have big news from MRF who don’t want anything to do with Trikes. They don’t want existing laws to bunch the Trike injuries / accidents with the two-wheeler industry statistics. Mack Buckland tells us about autocycle legislation separating the laws from the motorcycle laws at Minnesota. Matt Danielson from MRF told us that big corporate Polaris has got its Trike Model “Slingshot” classified in the same category as motorcycles as of August 2016. Clearly the genuine two-wheeler industry and its riders are pissed at this short-sighted legislation done by the political class.  



Bad Joke Library comes to Trikes:


Premature laughter ejaculation:

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.


Macho Daddy Blues:

After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room. When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for. On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."



Raymond Says:

I don’t know if you folks have heard of or remember our hippie friend “Raymond Hamilton”. He has a few disgusting sex tales in our Fiction department.


In his teenage years, borrowing from the U.S. Air Guitar Championship which honors self-made guitar "heroes" playing wild rock 'n' roll as if they were holding real guitars, Raymond Hamilton organized the second annual Air Sex Championship which was held in the Music Hall in Brooklyn, N.Y., and eventually won by Lady C. whose performance could not easily be described. Each contestant (solo only) had two minutes to cover "all the bases": "meeting, seduction, foreplay, intercourse, and, if successful, afterglow," and exposing body parts was not allowed.


About those championships, Raymond says, “I wanted the youth to enjoy sex as much as I did in my teenage years. Which is to say, sex alone, for one minute, with right hand and left hand as my steady girlfriends.”


I always wondered why derelict hippies and bums like Raymond Hamilton consider annual pilgrimage to their Holy sites at Amsterdam. Raymond reveals, in the Netherlands, citizens with disabilities receive money from the Government to pay for sexual services up to 12 times a year. This move has drastically reduced depression among the disabled, many of whom have never had a chance to explore their sexuality.


“But you are not disabled Ray!” I pondered.


Raymond replied, “I tell them I am mentally handicapped. All the tests they gave me qualified me as a retard. Now tell me, who is a smart cookie?”


“So you have Government aided sex with whores 12 times a year at Amsterdam?”


“Yeah! There is no time-gap requirement. You don’t need to wait 12 months. I spend two months there and get my disability benefits throughout the week. So far I have laid with women from 27 different nationalities. I miss my air sex though. Imagination is strong when you are on weed.”



Laws of the land

These are actual laws which can get you inside prison walls if you are careless. Beware. Big Brother is watching your bedroom.


Cleveland, Ohio: Women are not allowed to wear patent leather shoes. The reason why: the reflective surface will enable others to take a peek at their panties.


Virginia: Fornication is still forbidden under the Code of Virginia, Section 18.2-344. And forget about oral sex. All forms are considered "crimes against Nature." But the toughest law is that comes down on cab drivers. It is illegal to drive a person if you think they are going for "illicit sexual intercourse."


North Carolina: No kinky moves allowed. Couples must stay in the missionary position while gettin' busy and the shades must be drawn.


Connorsville, Wisconsin: A man is prohibited from shooting a gun while his partner is having an orgasm.


Tremonton, Utah: A woman cannot have sex in an ambulance.


Alabama: An ordinance states that women cannot use sex to pay off bets on matches they are playing. They also can't have sex while at pool halls.


Minnesota: It's illegal for a guy to have sex with a live fish. Dead one is OK.


Massachusetts: You can't have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses. Apparently it really spooks the horses.


Willowdale, Oregon: You cannot swear while having sex with your wife.




Motorcycle Riders Foundation comes for your Trikes:

LOL. Actually, this tabloid headline is just silly. I agree with them completely. Trike is a completely different vehicle and needs different customized laws and regulations. Lazy ass politicos have bunched up the Trikes with two-wheeled motorcycles to save their office hours. Corporates looking to push their Trike products don’t seem to care about their human clients. They are just happy to get the legislation passed and count the cash from their Sales.


If you really love your Trike and believe in the concept of Trike riding experience, you should get your lazy Senator to draft different set of rules and legislation for the booming Trike industry. Think long-term. Don’t be a wretched corporate and chase weekly sales targets. Build a unique Trike industry. And take all the benefits that come with it.



Mack Buckland, a veteran at MRF.org informs us, “In Minnesota, we passed legislation separating auto cycles away from motorcycles. Our plan was based on an agreement with MN DOT that they too would separate auto cycles from motorcycles in crash reporting statistics. I have recently confirmed this will happen starting 1/1/2017.

Bottom line is I don't care what they are called, we just do not want them included in motorcycle crash data. At MOTM, I was assured that NHTSA will now also separate motorcycles from auto cycles in the FARS data collection.

But I believe we need to monitor this and make sure it happens.”


Amen to that! As a Trike Magazine Editor, I want this separation. I want the Trike Riders to uniquely identify themselves and build their own legacy. Of course, it all started as an offshoot of Custom Motorcycling industry. But now this is on a large scale on a national level. So get up and get going. Make your own Laws for your own Rides.


ABATE Source and Legislative Director, Jim Parker adds: “A factory rep from Polaris Corporation came to Trenton, NJ to demonstrate their Slingshot to the members of the Transportation Committees in the Senate & Assembly and to help draft the bill to regulate autocycles as motorcycles in NJ. In spite of ABATE's best efforts to kill it or amend it, the bill became law as of 8/31/16 and autocycles are now regulated as motorcycles. None of the autocycle manufacturers have contacted ABATE.”



Legal mumbo-jumbo on WTF is a Trike ? ? ? :

What we did is worked with Tanum which is a company in VA which makes autocycles. We made sure that the definition of autocycle made two things clear. One was that an autocycle was not a motorcycle. Second was that an autocycle only had to meet the federal safety standards for motorcycles. It gives them what they wanted so they supported the bill. Below are the definitions for each.


“Autocycle" means a three-wheeled motor vehicle that has a steering wheel and seating that does not require the operator to straddle or sit astride and is manufactured to comply with federal safety requirements for motorcycles. Except as otherwise provided, an autocycle shall not be deemed to be a motorcycle.


"Motorcycle" means every motor vehicle designed to travel on not more than three wheels in contact with the ground and is capable of traveling at speeds in excess of 35 miles per hour. "Motorcycle" does not include any "autocycle," "electric personal assistive mobility device," "electric power-assisted bicycle," "farm tractor," "golf cart," "moped," "motorized skateboard or foot-scooter," "utility vehicle," or "wheelchair or wheelchair conveyance" as defined in this section.


Matt Danielson

McGrath, Danielson, Sorrell & Fuller

The Motorcycle Law Group





Bad Joke Library:

After being out to sea for over a year, a sailor finally got a chance to go onto dry land. The first thing he wanted to do was visit a local whore house. When he arrived at one he asked the guy behind the counter if they had any whores available, but the man told the sailor that they had no whores and all they had was a chicken. The sailor thought about it and figured what the hell it had been ages since his last lay. He took the chicken up to a room where he tried for an hour to fuck the chicken but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't do it. After giving up the sailor left and would try again next day. The following day he returned only to find they had no whores available again but they did have lesbian show that he could watch in the back with other men. As he stood there watching he turned to the man next to him and said, "Man this is great."

To which the man replied, "Yeah but you should have been here yesterday some guy tried to fuck a chicken."



TRIKES UNIVERSITY: Our English Improvement / Adult Education course:

A teacher has a class full of rednecks. She asks someone to use the word 'Timbuktu' in a story.

A scrawny kid in the back raises his hand and recites proudly:

Tim and me, a hikin' we went,

Till we found three whores in a pitch-up tent.

They were three and we were two;

So I buck one and Tim buck two!


Twinkle twinkle little whore,

I can't pay you anymore,

its not cause I'm broke you see,

its cause i like pussy free


A koala bear wandered into a whorehouse and found a sleeping prostitute. The bear crawled up on her and started licking her privates. The woman woke up and was a little freaked out to see a bear licking her, but she decided it felt pretty good and she let the bear continue. The koala kept going and eventually mounted the prostitute, has a great old time, and then walked toward the door.


The prostitute got up and shouted at the bear, "Hey, you have to pay for that!"


The koala shrugged.


"No, you don"t understand." she said to the bear, "I"m a pro-sti-tute. PRO-STI-TUTE. I get paid for having sex!"


The koala stared blankly.


"Look, right here." The prostitute grabbed a dictionary and showed the koala the definition. "Says right here, "Prostitute: One who is paid for sexual services."


The koala looked at the book, then flipped the pages back to "Koala" and showed her the definition: "Australian marsupial that eats bush and leaves."



Trike Adventure Tours:

Why sit in a stuffy bus with total strangers when you can explore Cape Town, South Africa, in all its glory and scenic splendour from the back of a fully imported trike? The trike seats two passengers and helmets are provided. All tours are conducted by a qualified and registered tour guide.


Phone: +27 71 219 1036

E-mail: info.capetriketours@gmail.com

Website: http://www.capetriketours.co.za/


Total time: Approximately 7-8 hours.

Please note that the entry fee to the Cape Point Nature Reserve is excluded.


A scenic ride to Cape Point via Camps Bay, Hout Bay, the world famous Chapman’s Peak Drive (if open), Kommetjie, and Misty Cliffs. The return trip from Cape Point will be via Simonstown, stopping at the penguin colony at Boulders Beach, Fish Hoek, scenic Boyes Drive, along the M3 stopping at Rhodes Memorial.


Cape Point is a spectacular, narrow finger of land, covered in endemic fynbos and home to picturesque bays, beaches, rolling green hills and valleys. It falls within the Cape Floral Region, a World Heritage Site, and is the most southerly point within the Good Hope section of Table Mountain National Park. The Cape Floral Region is one of the richest areas for plants in the world – it is home to nearly 20% of Africa’s flora.


Apart from the spectacular view, you’ll be able to see the most powerful lighthouse on the South African coast, which helps guide ships safely through perilous waters that have seen to the end of many a vessel.


Look out, too, for pelagic birds of which there are a large variety, zebra, eland, and the many species of reptiles and small mammals. Chacma baboons are common here, especially at the point itself. Don’t be tempted to feed the baboons and rather stay well away, as they can be aggressive. Cape Point is open daily and is a must-see.



Trikes of Elvis Presley:

Look out for a Feature Article from me on Trikes of Elvis Presley including some rare shots of the big one made by Big Daddy Roth. The King is coming to Trikes.bikernet.com soon.



What’s so special about the Campagna Motors Trikes?

It has better power-to-weight ratio than the Porsche 911S. These vehicles have reduced weight, very low center of gravity, incredibly manipulative street handling and best in industry comfort for the rider.


Take a test drive today and tell them Bikernet.com sent you – you may just end up buying it.


I will post a short review of the T-Rex soon on Trikes.bikernet.com



A Weekly Editorial:

All of you who want more Trike information and features, please send us your queries and expectations at bandit@bikernet.com and to me at support@happymen.org


You desire it, we want to talk about it. Concepts, Models, Ideas, Tech-outlines, all are welcome in our inbox.


Every email that leads to a Feature Article on Trikes.bikernet.com will receive a Bikernet tee-shirt, 5-Ball Racing patches and nude photos of interns.


Ride On!


-       Ujjwal ‘Wayfarer’ Dey

Managing Editor: Trikes.bikernet.com

Advertising & Sponsorship: CONTACT bandit@bikernet.com 


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