Resident hippie Raymond Hamilton is a degenerate useless bum. While he is good for nothing, he is a fellow biker and a brother to me and so I tried and got him a simple job of running the Bikernet.com Facebook Page.
The guy is a scoundrel. He has sowed his wild oats, carrots and beets in every exotic beach near every ocean’s shore from Goa to Bali to Mauritius to Hawaii to Barbados to his CPA Accountant’s mother in Cayman Islands. When he is not wanking off, he likes to read Scientific American and The Economist where he searches for articles about doomsday and zombie apocalypse. He is friendly and chatty. He even appears normal when drunk. When sober, he is usually asleep. But, he can never get shit done.
Over the past few months, he has run some good nonsense on the Bikernet Facebook Page which got plenty of circulation and likes and hate mail. So here are his gems edited and compiled by me.
"A Brotherhood refers to our unity as a family under one creator father which may be labelled nature, god, universe or Stan Lee." - Raymond Hamilton the resident hippie got emotional during Bike Week 2017.
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Appetite for Mayhem:
“Bacons are a life-saver for last-minute breakfast. Only if you are not a pig.” – Raymond Hamilton, keeping it real.
www.Bikernet.com says the truth is out there. Let’s ride and find it. RIDE FOREVER !!!
Growing up is optional:
“Happiness is a machine, run it with your friends” – Zen Master Raymond Hamilton
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The child within:
From Mark Neal : I made this one for my grandson. 12 different species of wood.
For free plans, Go to: www.WoodPlansFree.com/freeplans/gift for this great work.
Raymond Hamilton was babysitting twins. He decided to make nap time a contest. First one snoring gets a cookie. He was up all day and night. He spent his paycheck on cookies. Apparently, whenever one of the twins fell asleep, he would yell, “Aww Maann, you won – here is your cookie”.
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Raymond Hamilton likes Yo Momma jokes. He also likes big women and cougars. He once dated a grandmother because the daughter and grand-daughter turned him down. He can be spiteful that way.
Would Raymond Hamilton ever become President of a local motorcycle club? Since he is the only member out of jail, he actually has a good chance. Anyone can grow up to be President in America.
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Rums, Rebels, Roads:
Raymond Hamilton spent a few thousand dollars lobbying for a top job at United Nations. He was an honest bloke wanting to make a difference. The only flaw in his campaign? He began his speech with the words:
“More problems have been solved by a quarter of rum than the entire United Nations combined.”
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And we have Rum. www.Bikernet.com Cantina
Too old to ride?:
Once Raymond Hamilton’s grandpa wanted to borrow his motorcycle. Raymond was sober so was stupid enough to question the old man’s ability to be upright on two wheels. Now Raymond Hamilton borrows his grandpa’s dentures whenever he wants to eat.
Grumpy Old Men have a home too at www.Bikernet.com Ride Forever !!!
The Better Half:
“I call her my better half. Because she is the one who bends over.” – Raymond Hamilton
We help you find work-life balance, joy and world peace. Only at www.Bikernet.com
Flora and Fauna:
Our Bikernet University studies lot of psychological cases on the road. Here is one.
Raymond Hamilton once had road rage. He was so angry that he got a middle finger while splitting lanes. As a result he decided to un-install his rear view mirrors.
Now his road rage is even worse, because people keep yelling “Hey asshole”. So now Raymond Hamilton wears pants when riding out in public places.
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Gravity and me:
"Shit floats in space. There is no gravity. But you know what? It is still shit! That doesn't change." - Raymond Hamilton
Resident hippie and war hero. He has won numerous battles and war of words against terrorizers of his demented pet cat.
"Love is like pizza. You enjoy it while it lasts. Then throw away the box, it is emotional baggage." - Raymond Hamilton
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IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD. And the word was with God. And God said, "OOPS".
Help us change the world, one a$$hole at a time. www.Bikernet.com Always making News.
Life and the Universe:
“When life gives you lemons, suck it up, you stupid lemon eater.” – fortune cookie
LOL. Only at Bikernet.com
"If I turned invisible I'd go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime. The amount of applause he'd get would be amazing!" – overheard by Raymond Hamilton
The crazy resident hippie only at www.Bikernet.com HQ.
With Friends like these:
"Every time I get drunk, a guy across the table always shows up and says something stupid like ‘rough day eh?’ No, everything is peachy. I am only drinking to fill the void in my soul you judgmental bastard." - Raymond Hamilton and the bartender.
www.Bikernet.com takes care of friends; always!
“The Ghost Rider bitched about the long winding road in life. So an angel from Hell gave him a motorcycle. Ghost Rider is now the happiest damned person on earth.” – bed-time tales of Raymond Hamilton.
We feel your need for freedom. Ride Forever! www.Bikernet.com
KEEP CALM AND JOIN THE CANTINA
Bringing you custom built sanity for 20 years.
Dare to be Free:
“We believe in Girl Power. Especially since we admire the ju-jitsu technique called bitchslap.” – Raymond Hamilton at Bikernet.com HQ
"The dirt never hurt me. The wind never scared me. The world never stopped me. I rode because I was a rider." ~ Raymond Hamilton
www.Bikernet.com where the Adventure begins and the Fun never ends
"When they said wear your attitude - they meant wear it body, mind and soul." - Raymond Hamilton
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